101 signs that you may be Italian
-
Chances are your last name ends in a vowel.
- Your family tree includes someone who came over on a ship as a stowaway.
- You knew what stunad meant before it was translated in English for you.
- You were chased into church before school started.
- Someone in your family knows how to make wine.
- You have a desire to grow grapes, tomatoes, basil, and peppers for no apparent reason.
- Pizza was one of the first foods you had has a baby.
- You eat pastina called them "ballies".
- Someone gave you an Italian horn
as a gift of love.
- Your Dad explained the difference between Northern, Southern Italians and Sicilians.
- 11. You know what "mascarade" means
- 12. You bite your hand when someone says something bad about someone.
- 13. You have been chased around the kitchen table with a wooden spoon.
- 14. You have eaten the majority of your meals during the holidays in the basement.
- 15. Your grandmother had a second kitchen and basement.
- 16. You have at least one relative that spoke with broken English
- 17. You know what a "buck-house" is.
- 18. You can't help making hand gestures.
- 19. You're unable to talk with your hands held behind your back.
- 20. You have Goodfellas, Godfather, Casino and a Big Night in your movie collection.
- 21. Someone in your family has plastic covers on the furniture.
- 22. You would die right now for a great Cannoli!
- 23. You know what a combo with sweet and hot drowned is.
- 24. Your Mother always had food in the house and some Italian cookies for guests.
- 25. You actually used the horned fingers on someone when you wanted them to mess up.
- 26. You call Spaghetti sauce "Gravy".
- 27. You weren't allowed to wear black until you were senior in high school.
- 28. You're familiar to the "dull thump" of a slap behind the head.
- 29. If you were skinny you are told to eat. If you are heavy you are told to lose weight.
- 30. Your Grandparents saved money in coffee cans in the walls of their home.
- 31. You are able to count to 10 and swear in Italian.
- 32. You believe that the only place to get good Italian food is at home.
- 33. You can eat 12 homemade raviolis.
- 34. You enjoy toasted garbanzos and lupini beans
from the guy who has the cart.
- 35. Pizza originally was thick pizza with tomato, onion, olive oil and parmesan.
- 36. You can eat fresh mozzarella right from the brine like an apple.
- 37. You got in trouble if you ate the head of the lamb cake.
- 38. Your Mom allowed you to have wine and 7-up during the holiday.
- 39. You love to peel and eat fresh roasted chestnuts.
- 40. There is a crucifix in every bedroom with a dried palm leaf behind it.
- 41. You're protected by a St. Christopher statue
on your dashboard.
- 42. Every girl you bring home to your parents is a "Putan"!
- 43. You'll love the movie's a Fistful of Dollars
and the Good the Bad and the Ugly.
- 44. Every once in a while your parents would cook up something real weird, like tripe or beef heart.
- 45. Your Father or Mother spoke half English and Italian on the phone, you could only understand half.
- 45. Penne was always Must-o-chal.
- 46. Lasagna was a hand length tall and had tons of of Scamotz.
- 47. You never make Lasagna with cottage cheese. Don't get me started!
- 48. You hate when people say RICK-COTTA cheese.
- 49. At least one time in your life you're called a little Strunz.
- 50. You go crazy clean the house before your Mother or Grandmother comes over.
- 51. You know when they try to fool you by selling you pork tenderloin as veal.
- 52. You cannot live without garlic!
- 53. You have a jar of giardinara
in your fridge.
- 54. You always enjoy a great glass of wine.
- 55. You fell that there is nothing like an ice cold Moretti beer
in a frosted glass.
- 56. You can make a meal from fresh Italian bread, olive oil, Parmesan and roasted garlic.
- 57. Fried smelt with lemon on Friday.
- 58. One of your relatives at one time collected S&H Green stamps
.
- 59. Every holiday you watch Quo Vadis
, Ben Hur
, The Greatest Story Ever Told
, The Robe
and The 10 Commandments.
- 60. You were teased as a child that if you didn't behave you would be sold to the gypsies.
- 61. Guys only- Somewhere there is a super eight movie of you peeing in the bushes.
- 62. You love a good joke.
- 63. You love the smell of a good Benediction
.
- 64. You wish the Catholic Church would bring back the nine o'clock Latin Mass.
- 65. Someone told you you should open a restaurant.
- 66. You get angry easily.
- 67. You make up fast and forget it either ever happened.
- 68. You have at least one best of Dean Martin
, Sinatra
, Perry Como
or Louie Prima
CD, Album, 8 track or Cassette.
- 69. Your pantry always has red wine vinegar, olive oil, oregano, basil, parsley, red pepper flakes and Parmesan cheese in the fridge.
- 70. You can't stand when there is water on the bottom of your plate of Spaghetti.
- 71. You never feel that it is good enough. You can always do better!
- 72. You are passionate (I'll stop there).
- 73. Someone knows someone, who knows someone who knows someone who can help you.
- 74. Overcooked anything is 'moo-shad"
- 75. There are at least 20 people over at the holidays.
- 76. Your have sung the Spaghetti Song
to your kids.
- 77. You love fried pizza dough tossed with granulated sugar.
- 78. At one time in your life you or a friend have danced in front of an open fire hydrant on a hot summer day.
- 79. It matters if you date someone and they are not Italian or at least have some Italian blood in them.
- 80. You could relate to the dinner scene on Saturday Night Fever
.
- 81. You know someone who is good at gambling.
- 82. You have a relative that reads The Racing Form.
- 83. You don't call Italian bread French bread.
- 84. You know that Greeks secretly wish they were Italian.
- 85. You love, Calimari anyway it's prepared.
- 86. You feel that pizza is like sex, there is no such thing as bad pizza!
- 87. You enjoy a good slice of cold pizza for breakfast.
- 88. You have at least one item of clothing that declares your Italian pride.
- 89. You eat your salad after dinner at times.
- 90. Once the kitchen is all cleaned up it was off-limits to everyone, or else!
- 91. You have chosen a professional by last name, example: Doctor, Lawyer
- 92. You thought the idea of a"Flying Nun" was cool.
- 93. You pronounce sausage - SASICHE.
- 94. You always have greased the Maître d'.
- 95. You play the quarter slots then hit the prime rib buffet.
- 96. Sometimes your socks don't match.
- 97. You have worn your shoes at times till there are holes in the bottom.
- 98. You love your children or want children to love.
- 99. You miss when everyone in the family used to be together.
- 100. Your parents told you that you were Italian and an early age that you should be very proud of it!
- 101. You are reading this!
