Dining in an Italian American Home (Humor)


Italians have a $40,000 kitchen, but use the $259 stove from Sears in the basement to cook during the holiday!


There is some sort of religious statue in the hallway, living room, bedroom, front porch and backyard. ( I have a fountain in the front!)

The living room is filled with old wedding favors with poofy net bows and stale almonds (they are too pretty to open).

A portrait of the Pope is hang in the dining room.

God forbid if anyone ever attempted to eat Chef Boy-are-dee, Franco American, Ragu, Prego or anything else in a jar or can.

Meatballs are made with Pork and Beef.  Italians don't care about cholesterol.


Turkey is served on Thanksgiving, after the manicotti, gnocchi, lasagna and minestrone or shcarole soup.

If anyone ever says ES-CAROLE, slap 'em in the face -- it's SHCAROLE.

Sunday dinner was at 1:00. The meal went like this...

Table is set with everyday dishes...doesn't matter if they don't match...they're clean, What more do you want?

All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the napkin goes on the left. Put a clean kitchen towel at Nonna & Papa's plate because they won't use napkins.

Homemade wine or a gallon of Piasano as well as bottles of 7up are on the table.

Next, Macaroni (Nonna called all spaghetti Macaroni)...change plates.

After that, Roasted Meat, Roasted Potatoes, Over-cooked Vegetables... change plates. Then, and only then (never at the beginning of the meal) would you eat the salad (Oil and Vinegar dressing)...change plates.

Next, Fruit & Nuts - in the shell (on paper plates because you ran out of the other ones).

Coffee with Anisette (Espresso for Nonna, "Merican" coffee for the rest) with hard cookies (Biscotti) to dip in the coffee.

The kids go play...the men go to lay down, loosen their belts. They slept so soundly a bomb could go off and they wouldn't wake... the women clean the kitchen.

Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna - half the sentence was English, the other half Italian.

Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but can nail you in the head with a shoe or wooden spoon thrown from the kitchen while you're in the living room.

The true Italians will love this.

Those of you who are married to Italians will understand this and there are those that wished they were Italian. Finally, those of you who are friends with Italians will remember and will forward it to them.


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